Thing a Week 25: Worse Lateness

Due in part to bad planning on my part, and in part to limited computer access, I am posting this a full day late. I apologize, and will attempt to get back to a more timely schedule come next Saturday. To attempt absolution for this unpardonable crime, I am therefore writing something which I don't absolutely hate. It regards a juice box I was looking at a few days ago.
I am the kind of person who reads boxes and labels when I'm bored, so I was glancing at an off brand juice box, and I was struck by the title:

100% EXTREME 100% JUICE FRUIT PUNCH

I found it worrying. I mean, think about what it's saying! It is, apparently, fruit punch. I can accept that. Although I'm slightly skeptical, I could be persuaded that fruit was involved the production of this beverage and that the beverage can, in fact, be classified as "punch". Except it's also juice. 100% juice, to go by the title. Can juice and punch coexist? Are the two, in fact, one and the same? It is a gosh darned MYSTERY, and I am currently to lazy to see if Wikipedia can solve it. And then, of course, there is the extremity of it. This is an extreme drink. Very extreme. It's extreme! I cannot possibly stress just how extreme it is. It's so extreme that it isn't even extreme at all, it is actually eXtreme, which is apparently what happens when an adjective levels up. It has achieved some sort of transcendence. I am talking about the kind of extremity the has lightning bolts radiating from it. You could use this kind of extremeness to describe someone snowboarding out of a supersonic jet while fighting a grizzly bear strapped into a hang glider that has wings made from machine guns.
THIS JUICE IS 100% EXTREME
So I'm just wondering, why do we let this anywhere within fifty feet of our bodies? (the answer is, of course, that it is delicious and chock full of addictive chemicals)