Thing a Week 3: Superpowers? Yes Please.

So, today it snowed again. And by "snow", I mean "six inches of why do I have to shovel this cursed blanket of malice". This has naturally led to the further development of my hunched and aching back, and to fantasies of superpowers. Unfortunately(?), I have never lived as another person, so I can only assume that my thoughts are par for the course for the rest of humanity. And my thoughts tend to gravitate consistently towards how radically kick-awesome it would be if I had superpowers. And I haven't been one of those people who idly think it might be cool if they could fly or something. Oh no, I've thought it through fully. I HAVE GOT THE ANGLES COVERED. The best superpower, of course, would be manipulation of matter, done properly. This doesn't mean that you can make a book float, or light a candle WITH YOUR MIND. Full control means... just about every superpower, really. Once you control matter at a subatomic level, you can will your body into flight, agitate molecules to flame, turn stuff to gold, manipulate peoples minds, the whole nine yards. You could adjust reality so it was the whole ten yards, if you wanted to. This is, in essence, the most twinkerifically cheatery power EVAR. Second place would selective control of a gravitational field. This means you could alter the gravity of a rock, so it falls into the side of someones head, or make a tail spinning airplane fall up if you wanted to engage in a more helpful activity. You could even make a waterfall a waterlift The possibilities are endless! Third place is spatial portals. Anyone with sense should rank this high, because it is awesome. It just is! If you've played the game, you know this. If you haven't, you should. If you don't know the game I'm talking about, get out. Now. Why are you reading this sentence, you should be packing your bags to leave on the first plane, car, train, dogsled, UFO, or velociraptor that you see. I don't even CARE if the velociraptor looks angry, I want you to GET HENCE! Also, in the off chance that anyone has read all the way this point, I have decided that the alternative title for this post will be: Paragraphs? we Don't need no stinking PARAGRAPHS!