A proclamation:
In my years as a citizen in the flawed idyll we call the United States of America, it has frequently been brought to my attention that what our country truly needs is a strong leader. A strong hand at the tiller, if you will. Someone, in short, who will take control of our bright countries policies, and guide us through the stormy seas of life with minimal quantities of hull-scraping and crashing into reefs, wrecks, and other unfortunately sharp pointy objects.
THEREFORE
At the peremptory request and desire of a large majority of the citizens of these United States, I, Genghiz Cohen, formerly of Denial, North Dakota, and now for the last 9 years and 10 months past of the Internet, declare and proclaim myself Emperor of these United States; and in virtue of the authority thereby in me vested, do hereby order and direct the representatives of the different States of the Union to assemble on Blogger.com, on the 1st day of Dec. next, then and there to make such alterations in the existing laws of the Union as may ameliorate the evils under which the country is laboring, and thereby cause confidence to exist, both at home and abroad, in our stability and integrity.
Norton II, Emperor of the United States, Protector of Mexico, Defender of the Peace and Purveyor of Justice.
I assure you, you will not regret my decision.
In my years as a citizen in the flawed idyll we call the United States of America, it has frequently been brought to my attention that what our country truly needs is a strong leader. A strong hand at the tiller, if you will. Someone, in short, who will take control of our bright countries policies, and guide us through the stormy seas of life with minimal quantities of hull-scraping and crashing into reefs, wrecks, and other unfortunately sharp pointy objects.
THEREFORE
At the peremptory request and desire of a large majority of the citizens of these United States, I, Genghiz Cohen, formerly of Denial, North Dakota, and now for the last 9 years and 10 months past of the Internet, declare and proclaim myself Emperor of these United States; and in virtue of the authority thereby in me vested, do hereby order and direct the representatives of the different States of the Union to assemble on Blogger.com, on the 1st day of Dec. next, then and there to make such alterations in the existing laws of the Union as may ameliorate the evils under which the country is laboring, and thereby cause confidence to exist, both at home and abroad, in our stability and integrity.
Norton II, Emperor of the United States, Protector of Mexico, Defender of the Peace and Purveyor of Justice.
I assure you, you will not regret my decision.
(If this doesn't make any sense to you, then you desperately need to educate yourself on one Joshua Abraham Norton, A fascinating gentleman.)
We, your loyal subjects await your benevolent mercy and implore your nigh-on divine awesomeness to look down upon our slimily unworthy selves with as much tolerance as you can summon!
ReplyDeleteHve you been reading hark: a vagrant again?
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