hark! an update

So in the first place, I'd like to apologize to my vast and loyal fan base (ha! I kill me) for the long delay since my last post. Actually, I take that back. I don't apologize. Basically everyone who reads this knows me in person, and should therefore know that I am mercurial, whimsical, and lazy. If you weren't previously aware of the fact, then you might want to read the preceding sentence five times, or until it sticks in your mind like the mantra of a Tibetan lama who's meditated 39 hours a day for the last 78 3/5 years. But anyway, the point I was trying to make is that I will either be in a furor of posting, hacking at the keyboard until my fingers bleed with the fury(redundant, i know) of my passion, or my literary spirit will be something along the lines of Kansas at the height of the dust bowl.
ANYWAY, I actually went through a literary phase a couple of weeks ago, but I forgot about my blog and didn't think to post either of my creations here. so, weeks late, but still deliciously fresh, it is my privilege to produce the two conglomerations of text that will follow this one, in their original, i.e. unpunctuated/spellchecked/proofread glory